Salaam all, this is one of my favourite recipes for success in life.

Im sure it is going to be beneficial for all, if not most of us, InshaAllah.

“Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes, and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You” (Furqaan 74).

Q: Every human being by nature has an instinct to dispute. This instinct becomes more manifest between the husband and wife, thus leading to marital disputes. How can this instinct be controlled?

A. Consider the following ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage:

1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi (SAW) to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah (SAW) and sought some advice. Rasulullah (SAW) replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: ” and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah (SAW) said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:Nabi (SAW) confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9. At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those, are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)

I found a lot of the points in there very interesting to read. Didn't realise that some of these finer points had explicitly been mentioned by our Prophet (saw). I also got the chance to meet Mufti Ebrahim Desai when I was working in Croydon last year. He came down to Croydon Mosque. He's a really cool guy! lol.

lucky lucky!

Indeed our Prophet was the best example and guide.

These are really good Maheda - very beneficial for any relationship, not just marriages

And dude, u met Mufti Ebrahim Desai - nice one!

Are you a fan of him?

Dont worry guys am gna print it off,
give it 2 my husbund 2 b same time as the pre agreement
heheh lol

lol
sounds like a plan

coool, everyone should do that.

..only if this be the same person I'm thinking about - Shabbir Ahmed Ebrahim Desai author of a book called 'Ta'leemul Haq' - which gives basic teachings about the 5 pillars plus other essential info's?

very useful thanks guys.

He isnt the author of Ta'leemul Haq, Taleemul Islam is an abridged version of Taleemul Islam by Mufti Kifyat Ullah


Your talkin about the book with rules an regulations for prayer, clealiness etc. yeh?

By the way AK, I know you met Mufti Ebrahim Desai....dont rub it in lol