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This is a piece I have wanted to write for sometime. In fact I would say from as far back as May I have been thinking about this particular piece. It is a story about a little girl who has fled her family home with her little brother to find a better life in Dhaka. On her arrival to Dhaka, she fell pregnant and this is her story told through the eyes of the little girl, babu, her younger brother and her unborn child.
For those who don’t speak/understand Bengali here are a few bits and bobs that may help in understanding:
Shey Amake Bolche – They told me
Boro Mastan - butch local gangster
Ooni Amake Bolche – he/she told me
Ma amake bolche – mother told me
Appi – affectionate term for sister
Ammu/Abbu – Mom/Dad
Kilgaon – Slum area near main rail station in Dhaka, Bangladesh
Shadarghat – Main entrance to Dhaka by boat or ferry
Ghat – port
Noakhail – large district in south west Bangladesh
Tk –short for Taka 136 taka is equal to £1, so 3000tk is equivalent to £22
Mogbazar – Bazar area near the financial city of Dhaka Motijheel
Bailey Road – A popular hub for night life on the edge of Dhanmondi(one of the posh areas of Dhaka). On the side streets there is a colony of ‘houses’ which the rich and affluent visit for ‘entertainment’ after a night out
Feedback as ever (good and bad) is always welcomed….
[align=center]And They Told Me…[/align]
Shey amake bolche
That I would no longer have to hide from boro mastan of Kilgaon
Shey amake bolche
That my brother and I would be able to forget our experiences in Shadarghat
They promised that I would be able to earn a living that would take care of me, my brother and the one on the way
And that I need not worry of where I would sleep tonight.
I had listened intently to what they told me and they said they would find me again next week
Shey amake bolche
That I needn’t worry about my little brother who had diarrhea
After drinking water from the side of the railway line
Shey amake bolche
That after housing us they would take care of him until he was better.
They told me to wait and I did.
Shey amake bolche
That they would arrive in a blue car and that their policy meant they would introduce me to my in laws that day
Shey amake bolche
That after I meet them, I would be taken shopping in Bashundara and that the next day we would be housed
Shey amake bolche
That my little brother would no longer have to drink filthy water
And that he would be taken to a doctor to be examined
Shey amake bolche
That I would be reunited with my brother a day later and that once my 12th birthday had passed the ceremony would take place
Shey amake bolce
That 9 year old girls are not expected to marry until they are 12 and until then, they would look after their in laws
Shey amake bolche….
I got into the blue car as they promised.
But I shared the backseat with three other girls who looked the same as me.
With my brother, Babu, in my lap,
My mind crossed back to Shadarghat
And that awful night when we first arrived to Dhaka from Noakhail.
Sometimes I can still smell him and everytime I undress, the scars from where he poured acid on me
Still do not fade.
As we arrived to what they called the ‘basha’ which was on the side streets of Bailey Road,
Shey amake bolche
To smile and look pretty.
And as we all scaled those steep steps to the fourth floor, all I could hear was the beating of my exploding heart
I was to be free from my father and mother who tried to sell me for 3,000Tk to a strange man
I was to be free from the boy who scarred me with his acid and has left me carrying a child in my tummy at the age of 9
I was to be free from sleeping at the back of the market traders empty huts in Moghbazar and Kilgaon
And so I smiled and pulled my fringe back behind my ears
And there it was
This they hadn’t told me.
Shey amake bolche…
But they didn’t tell me this…
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I woke up in my Appi’s lap and immediately let out a cry
She was running and it was dark
And she was scared.
Ooni amake bolche
That I should not be scared and that I should hold her tight
But I didn’t believe her
The ghat was lit up with a million lights and the sound of the howls
Was gone for now.
And as the city of lights was approaching us
Ooni amake bolche
That this was our new home after Abbu and Ammu had tried to sell us
But I didn’t believe her
We settled, about a five minute walk, from the ghat of Dhaka
And as I slowly drifted off to sleep
Api screamed and when I opened my eyes
Ooni amake bolche
To run as fast as I can and that she was behind me.
But I didn’t believe her
But, that is now behind us. And despite her being scarred
She told me that I will have a new brother soon.
He is in her belly now
Ooni amake bolche
That we will play in the courtyard of our new house where she will get married in three years
But I didn’t believe her
Api had told me to sit still
And in my ear she whispered that from today onwards
My stomach pains would stop and that we would drink water straight from a tap
Ooni amake bolche
That we will have a bed and no longer sleep in the old man from Moghbazar’s, portable shop
But I didn’t believe her
And when my Appi was struggling up the stairs holding me in her arms,
I could feel my heart beating
I told her that I had never felt this before
Ooni amake bolche
That this was because until today, I was not free
But I didnt believe her
And then when he turned that handle and
And when my Appi fell to the floor and
And when they pulled her away and
Ooni amake bolche
That I wouldn’t see her again
I believed him….
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Ma amake bolche
Two months after I was hers that
She didn’t know who I was
That she didn’t know how I was hers
That she wished for me to be dead
Ma amake bolche
When I tried to connect with her
That she was scared of what I would be
And that she didn’t know whose I would be
And she didn’t how she could be
Ma amake bolche
The time she told Babu
The time he didn’t believe her
That I would be his new brother
That I would be one of them
Ma amake bolche
When we sat in the blue car
That the days of the streets were gone
And in three years from now I’ll have a dad and
From tonight onwards I will have a home
Ma amake bolche
As we scaled those steep stairs
And as we all got excited
Of our new life together
That we will be welcomed to our abode.
Ma amake bolche
As she fell to her knees
As she trembled in fear
And as she wept in disgust
That she wished I stayed inside her forever.
Ma amake bolche
As I saw first daylight
And was wrapped in a blanket
And handed over to my owner
That I would be sold in exchange for her freedom….
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copyright belongs to Mabrur Ahmed
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